I didn’t think that trying to get out of my comfort zone will provoke emotions covering the whole spectrum. I was prepared to feel challenged. I knew I would face difficulties but that utter joy, the one that makes my eyes shine and my heart flutter and throb as fast as it can… that was a surprise.
When the time comes for piano playing I feel like a shy little girl, my hands start to shake and I can hear the pounding of my heart. And then the piano starts. It is a patient teacher and never gets angry but I am not sure how positive that is to me, because then I take the responsibility and start scolding myself for every mistake.
A passer-by would never think I am on a journey out of my comfort zone. What they would see is the smile on my face. I haven’t looked at myself in the mirror but I know my cheeks get bright pink with excitement. And my eyes are shining. I feel so refreshed. My mind is busy with something completely unusual, an act of connecting to myself through music. My fingers, just like with knitting, are the connection between my soul and reality, between the inner and the outer.
The chords are coming out from beneath my fingers, one by one, different each time, insecure, too loud, too long, just like the stitches of wool in the beginning of my knitting journey. In fact I sometimes forget the original melody, this is how much I butcher it while trying to keep with it.
It is a rare occurrence in my life but for once I love the imperfection, it makes me feel more alive and forgiving. It is a sign that I am growing. Because as long as you have something to learn you are on the right track.
A Journey Out of My Comfort Zone - Day 3
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